I’ve always been a very active person, trying to use my time to make things, to make it matter, and not spoiling any minute by doing nothing. I guess that’s one of our problems of us, makers, as Teresa Gregorio said in one of the episodes of her podcast. I started sewing a bit more than a year ago and I can tell you that it’s so easy to get in the wagon of trying to finish things fast, start new ones and participate in all the sewalongs of the world that you can get lost in the madness. I rushed myself in several occasions due to this and felt like thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread. And now I have to slow down, like Rachel from House of Pinheiro beautifully put it today.
I really wanted to participate in the last sewalongs happening around. I had my pattern and fabric for the Sew Dolly Clackett since almost a year ago, and Sew for Victory was in my plans since I’ve seen the pictures from the last edition. I really wanted to participate but sadly I can’t.
First I need to focus on getting better and healthy. Not that I’m sick but I have to learn to live with my new condition until it passes, if it does. I’m eating a bit more healthy than before but I still have troubles to get all the calories that I need to function normally. I can’t practice capoeira and it breaks my heart, I can make it to the end of a Pilates class but it’s very very hard, since I’m out of strength halfway of it. But it’s better than at the beginning. When this got worse, the first two days I really starved. I had no energies, I had headache just because I needed to eat. I felt I was going to faint and even I had plenty of time (we had the Easter break) I didn’t feel like sewing. I felt like doing nothing at all.
So I need to slow down. I’m working on my long awaited Cambie dress without rushing, doing things correctly and I will probably be very happy with the final result. I try to add new foods to the diet at least every two days although in most cases they give me a reaction afterwards. I need to do things slowly, but I need to do them. I’ve also decided to take a break from frantic series. We’re finishing Breaking Bad and I’ve just finished Mad Dogs. Too many emotions in my already too exciting life. I’ve started to watch again Northern Exposure just to find a little peace and calm. I’ll get where I want to go but I’ll take my time in doing it. I will not be distracted by all the icing on the net, very attractive sewalongs or anything that could stress me too much. Stress raises histamine, didn’t you know? And right now I can’t afford it. I’m going to see a doctor next Tuesday, but I’ve read enough to know that the only thing I can do is following a strict diet for as long as it’s needed. Sometimes forever.